By Rameer Green and Shaun Kennedy
THE ADVERTISER’S DREAM – this person is tuned in primarily to watch commercials and judge how “good” they are or aren’t. Attempt no actual football talk with them – they know more about the new Beats commercial than any plays made.
THE BANDWAGONER – this person has NEVER gone hard in the paint for either team…but they’ve been faking the funk for the past 2 weeks. They will annoy the hell out of any real fans referring to a team you’ve never heard them talk about as “we” and “us”. You might even see these cornballs wearing one of the team’s jerseys.
THE “EXPERT” – this person has the most base knowledge of the game, but will complain about plays as though they used to work for Don Shula. 90% of what they will discuss in an effort to seem like they’re an expert can be easily dismissed by most children who watch football.
THE FOOTBALL HATER – this person hates football. Rather than just not watching the game, though – they’re going to watch every minute and complain about how stupid it is. They also will be really mad most of their friends are watching and enjoying it.
THE PLAY BY PLAY ANNOUNCER – similar to the idiots you see during award show broadcasts and on Thursday nights – these people are more interested in regurgitating what everyone saw themselves than actually watching the game. They find some inexplicable satisfaction in posting updates every 5-10 minutes.
THE GAMBLER – The one who doesn’t care about either team just what numbers they have or what team they placed certain bets on.
THE TEAM HATER – One of the teams has continuously put the wood to their favorite team so they spend all game rooting against Tom Brady I mean that particular team.
Happy Super Bowl Sunday! Lolz!