SEX AND THE CITY with cock-and-balls!
Ever cruise Sunset Boulevard in a limo, and then hit up a red carpet at a star-studded premiere? Stop by a party on the beach in Malibu, where the sun always shines and cocktails flow as easily as coke? Score the best table at a kick-ass restaurant or lounge in town, no reservation required? And all the while, everywhere you go, gorgeous starlets wave as you pass by?
No, right? Well, donâ€™t feel too bad because neither have I. (Yet!)
A life like that isnâ€™t made for losers like you and I. Itâ€™s everyoneâ€™s (well, not everyoneâ€™s, but most I bet) fantasy to live the Hollywood dream, but Vince (Adrian Grenier), Eric (Kevin Connelly), Drama (Kevin Dillon), Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) and Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) get to experience this obnoxious, yet envious life and they make it all look easy. And boy do these annoying mofos of ENTOURAGE know how to do it up and do it right, how to dream large and live even larger than a fat man devouring a stack of pancakes at an I-HOP.
From the opening seconds of the first episode in 2004, viewers followed driver/errand boy Turtle as he exits a Hummer and strides distractedly through a sprinkling of Hollywood hotties into a hip Melrose Avenue restaurant, where he hooks up with his boys from Queens, NYC: the up-and-coming movie star Vincent Chase; former pizza boy-morphed-talent manager, Eric Murphy, and Vinceâ€™s half-brother, out-of-work C (dare I say D) – list actor Johnny â€œDramaâ€ Chase. Turtleâ€™s mission; to have Vince autograph a poster from his first big flick in order to keep their local sneaker hook-up happy.
(Yeah, I ran through all seasons before enduring the movie.)
Cut to 2015 and the bling-bling lifestyle hasnâ€™t changed a bit, with nothing but blue skies and bright sun over head, ENTOURAGE (the movie) opens up in familiar manner with its trio of egotistical, brain-dead, entitled douchbags of Hollywood navigating the wide open sea in a speed-boat. Their destination? A huge luxury yacht off the coast of Ibiza, Spain, where Vince, rising actor-turned-megastar â€œmournsâ€ the demise of a five-day marriage surrounded by tons of his closet acquaintances (mainly the scantily clad female type)â€¦
Tasteless, but full of swag, followed by a spark that eventually turns into a California-like wild fire!
Quite frankly, Iâ€™m not a fan of the show and doubt I ever will be. But it doesnâ€™t mean I have hate or ill-will towards this franchise. I respect it. However, I must admit after recapping all seasons I was wondering one thing: where the fuck can they possibly go with this in feature form?
Well, the answer was pleasantly provided and I’m a happy camper. (Well, to an extent.) Taking it up a few raunchy notches from its original HBO show, ENTOURAGE the movie is just as fun and a hell of a lot more enjoyable than its quick-paced half hour series. From harsher, comedic dialog, scenery and plot (if thatâ€™s what itâ€™s called) that pretty much provides a harsher â€œantagonistâ€ (Haley Joel Osment), to tons of enjoyable cameos, and a story that takes the crew’s challenges & triumphs to new heights, it doesn’t disappoint and allows its fan-base more to chew on and digest.
Thatâ€™s basically it. Itâ€™s the show on Viagra. For all its quick-witted, snappy, fun-to-take-in settings, of its entire cast, I think although over-the-top, the movieâ€™s lifeline is pretty much Jeremy Piven. His obsessed wackiness and attitude holds this dull plotted piece down.
For all its Tinsel Town glory of what goes on in the bubble known as La-La Land, this is generally a movie made for the showâ€™s fans. Objectifying women to the core and showing off what itâ€™s like to be white, privileged men truly smears it across the screen, off it, and in your face like a money-shot in a porn flick. Not necessarily something I see thatâ€™ll pique the interest of a typical film-based aficionado, but it is what it is and thatâ€™s part of its fun. One can vicariously live through these brain-dead characters and fill themselves with wonder as it rolls along.
Grade: C+ / Genre: Comedy / Rated: R / Run Time: 1 Hr. 45 Min.
Starring: Jeremy Piven, Adrian Grenier, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Kevin Connolly
Directed by: Doug Ellin