THE LOSERS: Movie Review

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"THE LOSERS: Movie Review"

GENRE: Action/Adventure, Thriller and Adaptation
ROARS: 5 Out of 5

Rated: R / Run Time: 1 Hr. 40 Min.

CAST: Jeffery Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short

DIRECTOR: Sylvain White

Okay, ladies, gentleman, and children of all ages. * Cough * Another week’s come across our paths, which means another interesting opening weekend. This time around… yep, you guessed it, another film based off a graphic novel. Like “Kick-Ass,” I knew of it, but never read it, so approaching “The Losers” with a neutral state of mind was the best thing to do. Was I disappointed? Not in the least bit. If there’s a film that has a little bit of it all – including surreal moments – it’s this one. Well, than again most films are surreal if you actually sit and dissect them, right? Right!

Before I rape this review like a fat-man on a stack of pancakes at an I-Hop, I’d like to say this film’s inspired me to write this review a bit different. With that said, I’d like to start it off with a few signs.


1. Your 13 year-old nephew gets more female “action” than you do

2. You, and others in their 30s discuss Spider-man’s “Sinister 6,” and how you’d love to see them in the next movie

3. You type film reviews wearing a t-shirt, and boxers while drinking Green-tea, and listening to Howard Stern

4. You refuse to open up a Twitter account because you don’t have enough followers

5. You’re a “Moodle” (Man Poodle) Girls will talk, hang, dine, and wine, but they won’t…

So now that I’ve presented what it is being a “Loser,” let me venture out now with what I thought was a pretty entertaining film. Captivating in more ways than one can image, “The Losers” never loses its edge of insanity. The story’s simple to follow, and the way it was presented was in a class by itself. Shot in a unique way – almost in form of a comic-book – helped its display very much. You name it… from intro and duties of every character (One of the most politically correct cast if I may add) hero or villain, to personal objectives, to a global journey throughout the film… its cinematic texture was crisp, gritty, and raw! This piece’s enticing, and lends itself to what I believe it’s supposed to be. Noting more than an action packed film which entails betrayal, terrorism, CIA, gun toting/and play, explosions, laughs, and some of the darkest individuals a story’s ever presented.

Starting off in the jungles of Bolivia, “The Losers” (Clay, Roque, Jensen, Cougar, and Pooch) emerged during events surrounding, and including the war on terror. Originally a group of Special Forces cats backed by the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). “The Losers” were betrayed by their handler, Max, and left for dead following the conclusion of their operation. In the midst of realizing a mission gone wrong due to humanity’s kick which included children, the act has a moment that turns pretty sour, and bloody, opening the flood-gates which allows them to realize severe betrayal has set in. While enduring, and trying to understand why their country has set-them-up… as well as patching their future lives of secret existance, they encounter Aisha. A full-fledged go-getting no time for jokes bad-ass girl who mirrors mutual feelings, and in turn joins “The Losers.” Desparte for revenge and the opportunity to remove their names from a secret CIA death list, the Losers regroup and conduct covert operations against the CIA and its interests, uncovering shocking operations spearheaded by the enigmatic Max, whose influence within the CIA and U.S. government is unparalleled.


I mentioned how this was one of the most potically correct cast I’ve ever seen in a film. We normally see people of all flavors through films these days, but for some reason, we never see them teamed up with one another. Again, I’ve never read the graphic novel, but unlike “Watchmen” – which I loved, have read, and seen the film – everyone’s White! Except for that “Mr. Manhattan” who happens to be Blue, but that’s irreleveant. I don’t want go off on a “racial tangent,” but truth is, the film’s unity among the major players was an image that popped out graciously, wasn’t sterotyped and it involved more than just race/and ethnicity, but also gender. Signs of the times.

Hollywood’s United Nations

With MEGA HITS like “Star Trek,” “Avatar,” and now “The Losers,” it’s without doubt that Zoe Saldana (who plays Aisha) has reached unreachable heights, and has garnered “Geek” love/and respect from all those freaks out there who attend all sorts of movie, and comic-book conventions. I’m really proud of my fellow Latina sister, and my her stock price raised even more a few weeks ago when I watched her interviewed, and in Spanish. You know, not like one of these fakes who pride themselves by waving a flag, and at the very least don’t understand a word in Spanish. Bright future for the girl!

Along the lines of pat-on-the-back goes to Idris Elba (who plays Roque), and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (who plays Clay). These cats are also on that radar of having pumped out a few good flicks… There’s an intensity they carry, and whether emotional or not, they know how to carry themselves and as leaders of “The Losers” present themselves with force and demand. I’m looking forward to next year’s “Thor” – yet another comic film – which will also stars Mr. Elba.

Without doubt I can’t forget Chris Evens (Who plays Jensen), Columbus Short (Who plays Pooch), Oscar Jaenada (Who plays Cougar), and Jason Patric (Who plays Max). These cats served as supoporters, but their performances were so unique… perhaps it was due to their specific roles as “Losers,” or the evil Max. With simple actions like joke popping, controling choppers, pin-pointing a target, or simply rendering the most vile acts any human-being can… it layered scene after scene with unstoppable wit, and violent wisdom.


Sylvain White took this piece and dare I say owned it. I’m not too familar with his work like other directors, but it seems like he really knew how to piece characters, timing, scenery, and dare I say even music. There were lots of amazing shots… even one where there’s a betrayal that goes down by one of their own, and while all the shooting’s going on, there’s a spray of shattering mirror-glass which displayed a 3D-like affect – and thank God it wasn’t – where pieces of the miorror indivually reflect on this outrageous shoot-out. I was stunned to see the action going on while also viewing bits-and-pieces of it on broken glass. It’s something one must see… very different reading about it versus watching it. I also enjoyed how White specified the areas around the world. It was very informative, and had a hidden message regarding modern terrorism where most might think reflects a specific country or people, however; in this film it reflects what it is… it’s a fucking network, and truth be told – a network that also entails OUR OWN! A movie’s a movie, and you can be as “patriotic” as you may want to be, but realistically we’re not all that innocent either.

He pieced everything well, and gave an imaginary feeling of being part of what’s going on. Something I also enjoyed was the music. The music defined scenes pretty well, and whether comedic (Chris Evan singing a Journey song) or seductive (During a steamy love scene between Zoe and Jeffery), the blend between audio/and visual scenery was pretty fucking cool!


The film has its moments where realism is challenged. I’ve stated that already, and for the most part, one can be thrown off by it to a certain degree, however; the purpose of suspending your mind, body, and soul is a vital part when immersing yourself with pieces like “The Losers.” Comic book films have been making a mark these last few years, and as publications which pretty much present the story-board with some of the most interesting, and unique characters anyone will ever know about… they can keep pooping these out like Octo-Mom popped out those eight kids… one after the other!

Overall, “The Losers” is a film that delivers a little bit of everything for all those who thrive on going to the movies. It has comedy, it has love, it has unity, and it’s all wrapped up with shouting, running, explosions, gun-play and pretty interersting dialog. When it comes to dialog… Chris Evans and Jason Patric stand out the most. Trust me you’ll understand what I’m talking about once you see this movie. A fun expereince, and when leaving the theater, I can almost guran-damn-tee you’ll also want to be a loser… LIKE ME!

(Opens Friday April, 23rd)